Positive coping strategies help us handle the bumps and bruises life sends us. For some of us, using positive strategies doesn’t come naturally. Maybe we’ve tried before, with mixed results. We may even be afraid to change the way we respond to situations, because it could have impacts that we are not prepared to handle.
It’s almost a given that those of us living with mental illness have and use negative coping skills. Often, we know exactly what they are, too. I’ve sat in more than one group reading off a list of negative skills and with quiet nods of agreement all around me. Where they enthusiastically check off items on a list of positive skills we can try, the negative list is often left blank.
The color of shame.
The reality is negative coping skills exist for a reason. Somewhere we’ve learned them, for some reason we’ve developed them, in some way they benefit us. Understanding what these skills are, how we likely developed them, and what they do for us is important work if we want to learn how to live a better way. A healthier way. A less destructive way.
